A Step Toward Change

There comes a time when we have to step into change. That time is now for me. I was laid off from the Santa Cruz Sentinel on Tuesday June 26, 2007.

Pigs

I just told a couple of coworkers I feel like I did the day I was caught drinking in high school and had to wait to hear if I would be expelled. I was.

Today, I am waiting to hear if I will lose my job due to layoffs. I will know, apparently, by the end of the day.

Here is a photo I took this morning at an organic meat ranch in Las Lomas.

Speak your Truth

One of the privileges of being a photographer is the access I have to speeches I would not hear or even know about if not assigned to photograph the events at which they were spoken. The talk may be an award acceptance, a eulogy, a teacher's presentation to their students or a commencement speech. In some cases I may be looking at my watch hoping for it to end or I may feel the pressure of having to get a good photo and get on my way to the next assignment before the speaker has gotten to the heart of their delivery. Other times everything falls into place. I have time and the speaker delivers a profound message - a gift is given and I am there to receive it. That happened last weekend.
I accepted a freelance assignment from UCSC to shoot the Crown College graduation ceremony. While I was asked to get candids of the grads and the acting chancellor, the main objective was to get good shots of alumna Marti Noxon who would be speaking.
Marti Noxon, writer for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and executive producer for Grey's Anatomy graduated from Oakes College in 1987. Crown College invited her back to tell her story to the families, friends and grads of the class of 2007. The first part of the speech felt long and hard. Not because it was poorly written or spoken awkwardly but because she had a sad story. Anorexia, alcoholism, lonliness, desperation. She felt lost and didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. I felt fidgety and impatient at times. I wanted her to lift the story. It was hard to hear. After setting up the tragedy and struggle and darkness she said to the stone silent crowd "Thank you very much, have a nice weekend." Nobody made a sound for a millisecond then boisterous laughter filled the open field when she said "just kidding". It was dark, we needed to be lifted from that cavern.
She told us someone mentioned she had a knack for writing so she took that nudge and started writing. She began getting work as a writer. She had various jobs using her skills with words and even though she was making money she still wasn't happy. Again struggles plagued her daily life and unhappiness filled her soul.
Eventually, she awoke to the epiphany that she needed to write from her heart. She had to speak her truth. She stopped writing for the money and started creating for her soul. That is when she began to see and feel success. Doors began to open. She emerged from the darkness. Happiness filled her being. Marti Noxon persevered and is now a success in the tv and film industry and in her personal life.
Since hearing Noxon's story my mind has been whispering to myself - "speak your truth". I am dedicating this time of my life to finding that truth and celebrating it however I can.
Marti Noxon gave me a gift which I gratefully receive. I hope in speaking my truth I can give at least one person a gift they are waiting to receive.

Abby

I met Abby, a Cairn Terrier, at It's beach in Santa Cruz. Guess what her favorite game is.

Layoffs announced = Lack of Inspiration

It has been a while since I last wrote. The straight truth is my inspiration level has been in the toilet since Thursday June 7. It was on that day management announced eight people will be laid off from the Santa Cruz Sentinel. They left it at that. It has been six days and we still don't know who will be told to go home. This sort of environment is difficult to work in. Lots of speculation and worry.
Here is a photo of my name plate which still sits in the plastic sleeve on my cubicle wall. Perhaps this is the right time to remove the protective cover and make a firm stand as Kate Falconer - Photographer.

Smile for the Camera

A reporter and I visited a Shetland pony ranch in Moss Landing on Tuesday. The story is a preview of a Shetland and Miniature pony show in Watsonville this weekend.
One of the ponies and I instantly befriended one another. We were loving each other and working through the trust thing so much that the owner said to me - "He's for sale, you know." Yea, we were buds. Since I was there to shoot photos of the ranch, not to make life-long friends with a miniature-sized horse, I had to carry on with my business. I was shooting away while my new buddy stood by my side. He was nudging me and scoping out all of my gear. Then "OUCH!" I heard a scream - oh - that was me - "He bit me" I declared. And so he did - on my arm - it hurt. I don't usually scream - it just isn't part of me - but that was a scream. It startled me. Maybe more than the bite. I forgave him fairly quickly as I assured myself and the others he did it because he was feeling ignored. Not that biting someone else when you need attention is ok, but for that brief friendship, I let it slide.
The photo below is one of the other ponies - smiling for the camera... I think.